Saturday, April 7, 2018

Who Am I? My Authentic Self and Accidental Humility?


My neuropsychiatrist told me later that they estimated I had lost up to ten points in my IQ. Practically speaking, after my senior year in high school, I had lost almost an entire point on my GPA (my senior year GPA was 3.2, the lowest it has ever been). I had trouble processing and retaining information. Severe migraines continue to complicate things for me, including relationships, athletics, and confidence. At one point in my fall semester after the seizure, I was on the verge of dropping out of school because things that had come so easy to me just a few months before were now near impossible. A Beloved English teacher reassured me and basically saved me from dropping out of school. When I spoke to another neuropsychiatrist the spring of my senior year he looked at my grades and my medical report and told me flatly that if he had seen me the previous June or July, he would have recommended that I not go back to school. He seemed surprised that anyone was able to do as well as I had done following so massive an event. I turned to my mom and said, “Does this mean I can take a year off before I go to college?”
I pause here when I tell my students this. “Do not tell you parents that Mr. Smith gave you permission to drop out of school or to not go directly to college!” I have to cover myself. “Do remember that you are being taught by someone with three college degrees; if you fail at something or if you suffer some sort of setback, remember that if your stupid theology teacher can come back, so can you!” I reassure my students that if they are willing to be patient with themselves and if they are willing to let other people help them, they can recover from those setbacks.
Before you go and say that I took a year off to “discover who I was”, just stop it! I was taking the year off to get healthy. I definitely told people that I was taking the year off to “find myself”, but, really, I just wanted to rest and recover. It sounds like it was an easy decision. But let me put it this way; I was a good student with a lot of gifts. Everyone in my family went to college, and all of my classmates were college-bound the summer after we graduated. I am not sure if there was a single person that I knew that had ever take a year off before going to college. I was supposed to go to college and become a famous cosmologist! Instead of going away to college, though, I settled in my parents’ basement. I think of this as “forced humility”. But it was in that humility that I was actually able to begin the long process to “find myself”, although not intentionally.
Reflecting on that year (half as a year, as it would turn out), and thinking in terms of theological or Christian Anthropology, I did begin to “find myself” in that humility. Remember, if God is self-gift or humility, then to act in humility is to live out the image and likeness in which we are created. I lived in my parents’ basement! Do I need to say anything else? All respects to millennials who are in their 20’s and living in their parents’ basement, but I was supposed to be in college! I even had a chance to be playing baseball in college, making new friends, learning new stuff, and working toward being the next great theoretical physicist. Maybe I was a bit full of myself. Maybe I was being punished for my hubris. Or maybe I was just being invited to be humble…to be more like what we are all made to be. Maybe I was “finding myself,” albeit in a way I did not plan.

(He watches over the garden sometimes.)


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